4 a.m.

4 a.m.

4 a.m. (Photograph by Malin James)

I have a pretty serious relationship with 4 a.m.

It was 4 a.m. when I realized that God didn’t exist and that my parents were just people. It was too much, too fast for a six-year-old. I felt like an island, floating in the sky.

I was 4 a.m. when I woke up in my dorm room sure that something was wrong. My mom called a few hours later – my dad was sick. I had to come home.

It was 4am when I realized that the only way I could get out of a toxic relationship was to leave the city I loved.

It was 4am when I decided to come back, get out of acting, go to grad school. Maybe try to write for real.

My daughter woke up at 4 a.m. every night and it was 4am when I cried because she was smiling, and I was sick from needing sleep.

It’s 4am when I run to steady my pulse.

It’s 4am when I write nonsense like this.

It’s 4am when the quiet falls like rain, and I imagine slipping through the drops.

This is about as un-sinful as a Sinful Sunday can get. While it was taken from above and not below (as per August’s prompt), for me, my face mid-insomnia is pretty damn revealing so I went with it anyway. If you’d like to see some fantastically sexy Sinful Sunday’s, click the pretty lips.

Sinful Sunday

15 Comments

  1. Haunting and beautiful Malin – the picture fits perfectly – gorgeous x x x

  2. Oh, Malin, this is absolutely stunning. The image is subtle and lovely and dark and true. It speaks to every line you wrote. Beautiful.

  3. It’s 4 AM when I typically go to bed.

  4. This is perfect, sad, hopeful…. beautiful.

  5. 4AM has this in-between quality… not quite asleep, not quite awake, at the edge of the dawn but still encased in darkness.

  6. Such a story in the depth of this

  7. For me it’s 2.30. I hate that time, it haunts me, it traps me.

  8. Oh I remember the 4am’s with the babies…. that was the hardest feed of the night for me. I think this image is beautiful and with your words paints a powerful picture of you

    Mollyxxx

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