Beautiful, Joyful Porn

Still from Hysterical Literature. Image for Beautiful, Joyful Porn - Malin James

Still from Hysterical Literature, Session 1: Stoya (one of my favorites)

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but I’m not that into porn. Sort of. Okay, it’s complicated….

I like porn in principle, but scripted porn doesn’t tend work for me. I’m hyper-aware of stories and how they’re told. Unless they’re done really well, a lot porn scenarios yank me out of the sexy place and drop me into my head, which is kind of a shame, since most of those scenarios aren’t designed to withstand a critical eye. They’re designed to help the viewer get off, which is excellent in and of itself.

One of porn’s traditional conventions is to provide a narrative, even if the narrative is just randy pizza guy or threesome for his birthday. The problem for me is that I have weirdly specific taste, so pre-packaged scenarios don’t tend to turn me on . That’s why I’m more likely to trawl Tumblr for a quick fix than I am to watch a full length porn video. Sorry, porn – it’s not you, it’s me.

For me, porn is defined by efficiency. It’s like the media equivalent of the vibrator I keep at my desk for when I just need to get off. I’m not looking for a sexual experience, I’m looking for mental clarity, so I pull out the vibe and five minutes later, I’m back to work. For me, most porn serves the same function. If I’m already horny, it can be pretty useful, but if I want to rev myself up, it probably won’t do. It’s the difference between the vibe and a beautiful glass dildo. If I need to get off, the bullet rocks, but I’ll enjoy the glass in a whole different way.

Luckily for me, there are glass dildo equivalents in porn.

Last year, I wrote a post about a video called The Slap, a satirical riff on an ad called First Kiss. The Slap riled me up so much it shocked me. There isn’t an ounce of sexual content in this video – it’s literally a bunch of strangers slapping each other in the face – but the visceral, impulsive joy of it never fails to turn me on.

The only way I can think to explain it is that this crazy sort of intimacy develops between each pair, regardless of the race, gender or sexuality of the individual participant. That intimacy underpins their shock at hitting someone and taking a hit and it informs their joy at being given permission to do something taboo. In fact, it’s so fucking intimate that it makes me want to slap someone too…and then fuck that someone a lot

Sexual mechanics are cool for a snack, but if I want a pornographic meal, I go straight for intense, voyeuristic intimacy – intimacy that stands on its own without a scripted story. That’s why I go to Beautiful Agony or  Hysterical Literature when I want raw sexuality without the side of narrative.

Beautiful Agony features videos that people submit of themselves masturbating in front of a camera. All you can see are their faces, so the way they experience pleasure is displayed without distraction. Watching one of their videos is like being in a room full of laughter. You can walk in cold and miserable, but give it enough time and you’re going to be laughing too, which is to say that I can pop on one of their videos while I’m tired and stressed out, and by the time it ends, I’m after the glass dildo.

Hysterical Literature is also wonderful. People sit at a table and read from a book while someone under the table uses a vibrator on them (or jacks them off). The participants choose their book and that book is the single thread that carries you through to their orgasm. On a personal note, I’m a fan of reading while being pleasured, (and of torturing someone by making them read while I pleasure them), so Hysterical Literature is tailored made for me. And oh my god, the people who participate are happy. It’s beautiful. And hot! It makes me think of the times I’ve laughed after coming, because it felt so good.

In both cases, watching someone go from zero to climax over the course of 5-10 minutes is sexy and I love it. It’s infectious, and that’s the beauty of it. It’s the ultimate form of sexual sympathy. The people in the videos are having an amazing time, which makes me want to too. And, as a added bonus, Beautiful Agony and Hysterical Literature mean that I don’t have to spend the rest of the day itching to slap someone before ripping off their clothes. That’s what I call a gourmet pornographic meal.

11 comments

    1. Thank you, lovely! And thank for the Trenchcoatx link, speaking of learning things. Stoya’s one of my favorite HL sessions! I love how happy the experience was for her. That woman takes joy in her sexuality. Strikes me as a wonderful, healthy, good way to be! xxx

  1. Great blog! Beautiful Agony has been one of my favourite sites for years! I only ever check out the free previews, but it’s such a lovely site I always feel guilty and think I should pay/donate. Hysterical Literature is great too…Janet made me laugh a lot at the end of her film! I follow Clayton Cubbit on Twitter and keep hoping he’ll tweet a new one soon, but not for a while! Xx

    1. I get so excited when people I know recognize these sites! It’s like belonging to a secret club! And *yes* – I loved Janet’s session too. Of course, it didn’t even occur to me to follow Clayton Cubbit on twitter – I just keep stalking the site. Thanks to you, I can haunt his TL instead 😉 xx

  2. “Beautiful Agony features videos that people submit of themselves masturbating in front of a camera. All you can see are their faces, so the way they experience pleasure is displayed without distraction.”

    Okay, so I am running over to Beautiful Agony as soon as I leave here. That sounds right up my street!

    Like you, celluloid porn, doesn’t really do it for me. I tend to need to be inside someone’s head to some degree to get off, by which I mean I need some sort of emotional catalyst (although please don’t think that by that I just mean ‘love’ – raw lust/the desire to fuck works just fine!) and, in my case, that tends to be found via text.

    Jane
    xxx

  3. First I can’t believe I missed reading this post last week. Second, I have some rather delicious watching to do. I am a voyeur as well as an exhibitionist. I love watching people masturbate. I need to check out those sites because especially with women, it is their faces that I am transfixed by. If it is men, like to see the whole show. It isn’t the physicality though as much as the raw, unfiltered sexual emotion. I sometimes wonder if that is why words often get me off more than images. Xx

    1. Thank you, Honey! It’s funny that you mentioned that you’re especially interested in watching the women on these sites because I am invariably drawn to those clips more often than ones featuring men. I like the men a great deal, but when I’m missing ladies in that way of bi women, I find Hysterical Literature especially to be exactly where I want to go. That said, words will always be my go-to as well. As powerful as visuals can be, my brain loves filling in blanks so to speak. I suspect that’s the biggest reason that I’m not as into traditional porn. My brain wants more room to move… Xx

  4. I’m not familiar with either of those sites, so thank you.

    Feelings are similar to yours on porn. 98% is a giant yawn to me. What annoys me is that whenever I say that to someone, I hear, “Ah, yes, women just aren’t as visual as men.” That’s such a load of crap.

    Beautiful post as always!

    1. Thank you! I wish someone would do a formal study on the “women aren’t as visual as men” thing. It needs to be formally debunked, along with the assumption that women don’t like sex as much as men do. Come on, science. Help us out here!

  5. I’m a big fan of Hysterical Literature, but Beautiful Agony is a new one. As for not being turned on by traditional scenarios: Ay-men, sister. It’s why I got into writing erotica in the first place.

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