Jade & Malin Talk 50 Shades

Jade & Malin, minutes from embarking on the FSoG experience.

Jade & Malin, minutes from embarking on the FSoG experience.

Hello everyone! I’ve got a bit of a departure for you today. Over the week-end my lovely partner in crime and platonic valentine, Jade A. Waters, and I saw The Movie. We got to talking about it over lunch, (of course), and decided that, in the face of so many proper reviews and opinions, we’d skip writing anything truly critical and record an off-the-cuff conversation instead. We meandered, we drifted, we laughed a lot, (we might have even snorted). Most of all, we had a lot of fun making this recording. A few notes before you press play:

1. We went into this with a particular context in mind – that FSoG is a formula romance, and the kink / BDSM elements were going to be geared for a primarily vanilla, mainstream audience. Also, R rating.

2. We tried to consider it through the lens of the audience it’s intended for, (rather than our own erotica writer / kinky person perspective)

3. The most pornographic moment in this film was the opening credits with Christian Grey’s wardrobe. See #1 on context and rating.

4. We get kind of loud at points so apologies if we laugh you out of your earbuds.

5. There are outtakes at the end! Listen on through if you can!

And now, without further ado, Jade and I talk 50 Shades. Thanks for joining us – we hope you enjoy the conversation at least half as much as we did.



  1. Oh, you! I had such a lovely time as always when we hung out, but to add in our movie adventure (because the movies, hello!) and then our recording play time – because that’s so what it was – made my whole day. So glad to have shared this with you! 🙂 XOXO – Jade

  2. Ladies, what a great listen. It was fascinating to hear your thoughts on the film, especially in this format. (Please tell me you plan on doing more audible posts together in the future?!)

    You make some great points, particularly in relation to the positioning of the movie for the mainstream, although I must confess, I had a somewhat different reaction to Jamie Dornan’s portrayal of Mr Grey. (I found him to be incredibly, incredibly creepy, although that does, admittedly, reflect the the latter’s behaviour in the books) and it very difficult to quell my amusement at his interpretation of ‘Dom’ – c.f. his constantly frowning visage and laundry list of instructions. (Remittance Girl summed it up perfectly, I think: “BDSM is not a game of sexual ‘Simon Says’ but an erotic experience that people go into very willingly”.)

    Sound track? Totally agree. Although the creative in me would LOVE to see Ellie Goulding’s title track vid. re-shot with actual kinky people in it. The lyrics are just *begging*.

    Nudity inequality … Yeah, I can see the ratings board being an issue, however, we just seem to have this big hang-up when it comes to showing male flesh in mainstream film. I just don’t understand it. I’m not seeking a penis on every corner – I’d just like to feel that the scales are more fairly balanced. Oh, and I absolutely agree that a Dom/Domme remaining clothed definitely adds to a scene – but I just don’t think that was the filmmaker’s intent in this case. I’m going to think on this more and do a post on it.

    Lastly, the final scene … Yeah. Hated it. The intent, her pushing/goading him into it and not using her safeword when she should have – and then compounding it all by refusing to talk about what’s just happened. The irony? It was actually, to my mind, an incredibly tame scene. (Six strokes of a belt and I’d be yelling “hell, yes!”. :-)) As I said on Twitter, my exact comment to the friend I saw this with was “If he really meant it, he would have used a Delrin.”

    Jane xxx

    • Yes, that final scene is really problematic. I hated the way she pushed him into it and then demonized him for doing it. Just manipulative on the screenplay’s part and really left a bad taste in my mouth. Also, there was something I was having trouble putting into words when we recorded, but I think I’ve sussed it out now. It’s the fact that, from a realistic BDSM perspective, 6 whacks with a belt *is* really tame, but from the fantasy perspective of the movie, it’s made out to be this monstrously climactic festival of horror and the silver bullet example of how fucked up he is. Pair that with my personal reaction to it, which was that her crying as she counted was the only honestly sexy kink moment in the film, (setting aside the fact that she’d manipulated him into doing it and was refusing to use her safe word which was not good), and it just frustrated me. Those final scenes are such a tangle of self-loathing and judgement, (on the part of the characters and the film itself) that it took what could have been a bit of innocuous fluff and turned it into something problematic.

      As for the issue of nudity inequity, oh my gosh, that deserves it’s own separate discussion! You’re right too – while the fact that the film had to get by censors explains *why* the inequity likely exists in mainstream media, it doesn’t excuse the fact that the standards the censors are upholding are out of date, moralistic and ridiculous. I’d actually love to talk to you more about that some time. There’s so much in there to look at…

      Most of all though, thank you for inspiring a huge chunk of our discussion, Jane, and for taking the time to listen and comment. It’s really lovely of you and I enjoyed getting to chat about it – both with Jade on the recording, but also with you via DM. Roundtable discussions on a lot of these topics would be really interesting. I wonder how one goes about setting up that kind forum..? I can think of a lot of people I’d like to get together in a room and record on one issue or another.. At the very least, I suspect Jade and I will be back and cackling over something again 😀

      Malin xxx

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