The Pussy Pride Project

"The Great Wall of Vagina" by Jamie McCartney

“The Great Wall of Vagina” by Jamie McCartney

For all that I write about sex, I’m a pretty private person. Wrapped up somewhere in being a dominant, introverted voyeur is the impulse to hold large parts of myself in reserve. Of course, there are people whose natural, infectious joy bumps me off the sidelines – people like Molly Moore, the curator of The Pussy Pride Project, (and the mistress of many things. The woman wears multiple hats and looks lovely in all of them).

I’ve been following The Pussy Pride Project for awhile. I don’t like body shaming, (or any shaming for that matter), and the idea of a sex positive project aimed at highlighting women’s relationships to their genitalia appealed a great deal. Of course, if didn’t occur to me to contribute until Molly asked me to, and so, because it’s Molly, I’m setting my reticence aside to discuss my cunt…because, to me, it will always be my cunt and not my pussy (no offense preferrers of “pussy”. It’s just a semantic thing).

To be honest, I was pretty ambivalent about my “female parts,” as my mother calls them, for much of my life. And really, when you grow up thinking of your genitalia as your “female parts” you’re probably not going to get all attached and romantic about them.

Despite that, some of my earliest memories involve sexual pleasure, which was a mysterious and much sought after thing when I was little and having orgasms by accident. As I grew older, I explored many aspects of my sexuality, but I never took the time to deliberately acquaint myself with the portions of my anatomy that produced all that sweet, random feeling because we didn’t talk or think about that in my family. Oh, my goodness, no.

The question of grooming went equally unaddressed. I left it all wild and silky, not because I preferred pubes, but because it never occurred to me to go bare. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties, when a partner shaved me for the first time, that the eroticism of being hairless made itself known. With each pass of the razor, the place I’d always thought of as my “female parts” became, irreversibly, my “cunt.” The orgasm I had directly afterwards was a game-changer. He went down on me, smiling the whole time like the keeper of ancient secrets, and I came so hard I nearly passed out. Since then, I have always shaved or waxed or done some combination of both, not because I want to fit some modern, hairless aesthetic, but because I feel everything so much more without pubic interference. I wouldn’t bother if that weren’t the case. I do it purely to please myself, and the results are worth the effort.

Despite all that, I didn’t give my cunt serious consideration until after I had my daughter. I know that I’m stating the obvious when I say that your body changes a lot during pregnancy and birth, but I was unprepared for how much. In my case, my body changed for the better, though it took several months and many ice packs before I wanted to find out.

Before my daughter my clitoris was temperamental and somewhat “demure” as one lover called it. My labia were fairly flat and unobtrusive. Everything was seemly – my vagina and its attendant parts folded themselves up into a tidy little package that responded when opened but didn’t make demands.

After my daughter was born, things got interesting. Suddenly, my clit was fuller, more prominent and much more sensitive, (ie: “demanding”). My outer labia, once so discrete and lady-like, is now fuller as well – so full that they look sort of plushy and plump, even when I’m not turned on. The folds of my inner labia have changed as well. They look more ruffled and pink, and the one on the left sticks out, so that every now and then my cunt looks like it’s sticking out it’s tongue. I love this, by the way.

Compliments…I have been complimented, which is lovely and curious. I’m always happiest when compliments have less to do with aesthetics and more to do with how my body responds. My cunt has never been called “perfect” though it has been called “perfect for me.” Frankly, I don’t know if there’s any such thing as “the perfect pussy.” I suspect not, just as there’s no such thing as perfect breasts or a perfect cock. I do think, however, that there is such a thing as the perfect fit, but that subjective assessment depends entirely on who you’re with.

At this point in my life, I can say that I have a fondness for my cunt, though it still confounds me at times, especially when the stimulation that works one day, doesn’t work the next. Even that makes me smile though. Like many women, I’m complicated and slightly perverse. I love what I love, and I want what I want, and though my heart is strong and constant, it is anything but predictable. I love that my cunt reflects that.

If you’d like to read more posts in The Pussy Pride Project, click HERE. Or press the the picture of the pretty, suggestive flower. I know I would….

Pussy Pride

12 Comments

  1. What a beautiful post. It is both refreshing and heart warming to read that you have such a positive relationship with the changes that pregnancy and birth have made to your cunt. I have several times been in the position of trying to help women not see those changes in a negative light. In fact, I will signpost one of them to this to see if it helps.

    As always, your way with words captures and engages. Thank you.

    • Thank you so much! I was honestly surprised that my sexuality appears to have been enhanced by pregnancy and birth. It would be so easy to see those changes negatively – especially when you’re already tired and / or overwhelmed by everything parenthood entails. I would love it if this post could help other women see their post-pregnancy bodies as gorgeously idiosyncratic, emphasis on the “gorgeously” 🙂

  2. I love this. I had never really given much thought to how my pussy looked before until I was complimented on it several months back. Then I began to look, inspect, admire, and appreciate the aesthetics of my mound. Yeah, she is beautiful even if she is a fickle bitch. lol

  3. Another lovely commentary – thank you, Ms. James.

  4. Beautiful description of your “down there”. You are very open and honest and wrote about it in a way that only a confident writer could. Thanks for sharing the intimacy of your pussy. The Pussy Pride Project will be fun and informative to follow.

    • Believe me, it was a little nerve-wracking to post, but the response has been so lovely that I’m very glad I did! Thanks so much for reading it and taking the time to comment – I really appreciate it.

  5. This was lovely to read! I too prefer ‘cunt’ to ‘pussy’ – but in either case I think it’s extremely valuable that there’s more conversation about them and how they are to those of us who live with them 🙂

    xx Dee

    • Thanks, Dee! I agree – normalizing and talking about our bodies could go a long way to eliminating a lot of harmful stigmas. Plus, cunts are nice, so why not own up to having one? 🙂 xx

  6. Thank you so much for joining in with the Pussy Pride Project and I am so sorry I have been slow to comment here.

    Your piece made me think about my pre and post baby body and sex life for that matter and things definitely improved post baby, although it took a couple of months to get back into the saddle after my 1st baby it took about 3 weeks after the 2nd. I never really thought about it before I would definitely say my sex drive jumped post baby but no idea if that was hormones or just being more comfortable with who I was despite my body being ravaged by child baring and birth.

    Mollyxxx

    • Thank you for asking me to participate! It was really valuable for me. I hadn’t taken the time to seriously consider my relationship to my body, particularly post-pregnancy. While I think my body was far more conventionally appealing when I was younger, I feel much happier and more in tune with it now.. Whether that’s hormones or just age, I’m glad for it. Being comfortable in my own skin means I get to feel much more pleasure than I ever used to. I think of it as a lovely side effect of getting to have my lovely girl…
      xxx

  7. I must say your contribution to the wall was engaging I enjoy the way you articulate yourself as intelligent and interesting. I can see why Molly encouraged you to participate. I would love leave you an open invitation to write an article/ poem/ VSS on an intimate moment you’ve had or desire on my page Intimate Moments Diary on UInk. Please consider though I do understand that if you are hesitate.
    Great Piece
    Thank you

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