On the Value of a Kiss

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

I write erotica, which means that that sooner or later, someone somewhere in 99% of my stories is going to come and, if they don’t, it’ll have to do with orgasm denial or some similar form of play. They may come alone or with a friend, or they may just really want to come, but in the end, an orgasm, (or five), is a nearly always part of the story… except when it’s not.

When I first started writing erotica, I wrote a little series stories about kisses. I’d forgotten about them until I came across them in my idea file the other day, (for the record, my idea file is a rat’s nest full of everything from wispy images to full rough drafts). The stories aren’t stories so much a fragments – snap shots of kisses and what the kisses might mean. To be honest, they aren’t even very good, but there is meat on that bone that I want to come back to.

When I wrote them, I remember feeling like they were a bit of a curiosity. The fragments were too sexual to just be literary, but there wasn’t actually any sex. Plus, these were not romantic kisses – there was nothing ideal or dreamy about them. They were complicated and emotional and filled with the need, and that need is what made them erotic. Two women in a bar, a grown pair of siblings, three friends who’d been purely platonic – until that moment they realized that, yes, they were going to kiss….

I love that moment – the one right before a truly good kiss. The lean and sway, the tilt of the head, that silent, questioning drift. The “are we really going to do this?” moment, followed by the one that says, “yes, we really are.” That is erotic gold.

I’m embarrassed to say that in all of my writing on sex and orgasms and sexuality, I had forgotten about the erotic potential of the simple, powerful kiss. It isn’t all thrusting and coming, though that certainly plays a part. The kiss is connection and context. A kiss can instantly raise the stakes. A kiss can tell you if you want to sleep with him, or if the chemistry’s there, or if maybe you’d really just rather go home.

Though a kiss is, in and of itself, a finite act, it opens the gateway for more, whether it’s the rapid downhill slide into sex, or the delicate re-definition of a relationship. Even when it doesn’t, a kiss can unlock a Pandora’s box full of wild potential. Claims have been made and promises broken just on the basis of the kiss. In a sexually open age, it’s easy to forget that a kiss has a power all its own.

Oh, and if you like watching people kiss, (and really, who doesn’t), I highly recommend this lovely video in which strangers, (or possibly actors-playing-strangers), kiss for the first time.


  1. this article is gorgeous from the klimt(!), and the that people forget especially in erotica, just how powerful a kiss can be…

  2. Oh, I totally agree. Though it can work the other way, I once read a story where a description of a kiss made me put the book down in total revulsion. The language was just … so icky for me. He rubbed his lips against hers. RUBBED. I’m traumatised yet 🙂

  3. Sweet video. I haven’t written much kissing; you made me think about ways I might include it more.

    I love this video of two bears kissing; beautiful, and perfect soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3mhlZdGy-4

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