The Threesome App

Image courtesy newsone.com

Image courtesy newsone.com

I was scrolling through Sex in Words a while back when I saw a link to an interview in HuffPo’s Gay Voices. Apparently, there is now a threesome app. Called 3nder, it helps coordinate threesomes between consenting adults. Gay, straight, bi, transgender. Doesn’t matter. If you’re a grown up, and you want to get it on with two other grown-ups, there is now an app for that. Isn’t the 21st century grand?

Which brings me to what I find fascinating about the whole notion of an application designed¬† to facilitate a sexual dynamic that is, by it’s very nature, non-traditional. The fact that 3nder exists signals, to me, that non-traditional sexual dynamics are mainstreaming, while the fact that the article highlighting the app appeared in a major news outlet, (granted, it was HuffPo’s alt. sexuality page), likewise signals a sea-change in Western sexual culture. But, as encouraging as 3nder is, it’s also a curious thing. After all, for the longest time, threesomes were negotiated in more, (ahem), hands on ways. The app, though terrifically efficient, eliminates the subtle negotiations that send three people tumbling into bed, often unexpectedly.

But that’s the old-fashioned romantic in me talking. If 3nder gets mutually interested parties together, I can only see it as a win.

BDSM, kink, non-monogamy in all it’s forms.. all of these practices have been going strong for generations, though almost always in secret, (to paraphrase Eddie Izzard, no one wants to be killed with sticks. The fact that articles on threesomes and polyamory have been showing up with increasing frequency in mainstream (liberal) media outlets like Salon.com and Slate, tells me that more people are experimenting with their own desires, which strikes me as a healthy thing.

Even in our parent’s comparatively liberated generation, you didn’t really talk about sex, let alone, fucking two people at the same time. Now, rather than being a shameful, secret fantasy, threesomes have become just another form of good clean fun. While it’s true that the notion may still strike many people as wrong, for those who are curious, or who already know that they love a little m/m/f, (or m/m/m or f/f/f or f/f/m) action, the cultural shift is a promising thing. So, while it’s great that the app exists, I love that there’s a market for it even more.

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